Saturday, April 28, 2012
A day for warm window screens and loose cobwebs.
Things you didn't mean to say. Dreamy cat's eyes.
Cramped farmers market, strollers as big as cars, drivers just as blind. Sweetest strawberries in the market, he said. Did you mean what you said? It was late. Very late.
Three petitions to sign, flower-specked greens to buy. Waiting to do. Walking in the sun, baby feet flexing in the spring light. Pelican stretching its wings in the murky, shallow end. I'm with you there, bird. Wading (waiting) in the murky shallows.
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Ever since the constant threat of nuclear annihilation and northern migrating killer bees of the 80s, I haven't been much for the consumption of news. "Would we all get nuked into dust before I got a boyfriend?" "Will I know a killer bee when I see one?" Just insert any neurotic, obsessive thought a teenager might have about current events, and you've got it. As years passed, I'd make sure that I knew what was going on in the world. I'd tune in to your odd local news show or 60 Minutes on occasion. But basically, I didn't watch the news, couldn't watch the news, because I'd lose sleep over every story.
Cut to the Information Age and me, carefully selecting news from the internet. I curate me-approved news with a click. A terrible story about genocide? Get the salient facts and then soothe myself with a story about a puppy who's been adopted by a mallard. Ah...that's the stuff. I'll sleep like a baby tonight.
But these days, I'm getting a little lazy. You could even say, haphazard with my news gathering. Today, I clicked on the following links, in reverse order, without really considering their possible content:
- Mad cow disease found in California dairy cow
- 40 white rabbits dumped at Huntington Beach park
- Big Guy, a blind sea lion, finds a home at last
- Woman bites driver who stole parking spot, police say
What a dilemma. They still publish the funnies, right?
Monday, April 16, 2012
The ideas I've come up with so far are:
- Send the individuals in question "good vibes"
- Have a face-to-face confrontation with him/her in which I threaten to run around his/her places of business naked until they meet with my demands
- Cry, wring hankies, eat nothing but candy.
- Talk exclusively to the cats and pretend the larger "bald" cats I interact with are not speaking a language I understand.
Monday, April 9, 2012
I mean, here are some favorites:
"sock" was autocorrected to "dick"
"watching the baby" autocorrected to "eating the baby"
"screwed" autocorrected to "s'mored"
That last one is interesting. I didn't realize we'd started using s'more as a verb.
Well, back to proofreading my texts...