The ideas I've come up with so far are:
- Send the individuals in question "good vibes"
- Have a face-to-face confrontation with him/her in which I threaten to run around his/her places of business naked until they meet with my demands
- Cry, wring hankies, eat nothing but candy.
- Talk exclusively to the cats and pretend the larger "bald" cats I interact with are not speaking a language I understand.