Monday, October 22, 2012
Is it any wonder I follow links promising to reveal who is not over which breakup, or whose ass has gotten bigger in the past three months? To my credit, I also watched a short video about Ardipithecus, but I think the few lines I read about that British singer's new baby might have displaced it. What am I supposed to be worrying about, huh, TV and internet?
I let you curate my news for me on your little carousel with crappy links that don't work and auto-loading videos that could turn a monk twitchy.
I think I'll go click "maps" and familiarize myself with the Western states. But first I'll have to make room in my brain by shoving aside one weird tip for white teeth that will annoy dentists and a video of a cat stuck in a fish bowl.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
I'll call mine, "Ten Things I Have Learned in (never you mind) Years of Living" in no particular order:
1. Some things don't taste as good as they smell.
2. Failing to double-check to whom an email is being sent can be very embarrassing, especially when that email contains a cartoon containing profanity.
3. Watching old re-runs on TV really is good for you.
4. Safely running a left red arrow signal is liberating (as long as a cop doesn't see you).
5. Three-hour naps are much better than 15-minute naps.
6. Ugly shoes are often the most comfortable.
7. When it comes to drinking alcoholic beverages, it is not possible to keep pace with an Irish person.
8. When a cat's ears shoot back and its tail whips side to side, stop petting it immediately.
9. Most of the things I worry about are just not that important.
10. The math teacher was wrong. I never used any of that stuff. Thanks a lot!
Photo: California Street, 2012