Thursday, April 21, 2011

get your affairs in order, or don't

Something big is about to happen.  And that thing is Judgment Day.  It's next month:  May 21st.  I know you're thinking, hold it -- isn't Doomsday supposed to be December 21, 2012?  Nope.  There's some folks who have a jump on the Mayans.  In Oakland (and throughout the bay area) there are billboards announcing that it's the end of the world.  Pictured on the billboard is the dejected silhouette of a man crouching, head hung low (and why wouldn't he, frankly, it's his last gig before the Apocalypse!).  But, come on.  Do we need this right now?

OK, fine.  I'll bite.  I looked up their website.  Sure enough, it has the look of a site set up by someone who read a used copy of Web Design for Dummies.  "The bible guarantees it!" the homepage reads in red font.  Does it?  Is that right?  Every copy of the bible mentions the date 5/21/2011?  I call bullshit.  I can't wait to see what this site posts on May 22nd.

Of course, they could be right.  You never know.  And if they are, here are all the things I won't have to worry if the world ends on May 21st:

1.  Rent, for eternity
2.  Doing laundry at the depressing laundromat across the street
3.  Pumping gas
4.  Listening to my dad tell me personal facts about people I don't give a shit about.
5.  Paying my car registration due in June on my 18-year-old car.  (89 bucks!  Are you out of your minds, DMV?)

But, I doubt this Judgment Day thing.  What's written in the bible never did much for me.  Come on, May 21st?  A Saturday?  The end of the world would surely fall on a Monday, wouldn't it?

4 comments:

  1. awww Jeanette, how I love you :))) .. thanks for the chuckle this morning!

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  2. Great post! I'm totally with you. I keep hearing all these end-of-times conspiracies, and so help me, all I feel is relief that I will never again have to clean my fridge.

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  3. Thanks, RH! Yep, we can wipe our to-do lists clean next month, with any luck.

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